Validation-How to get it in about 2 and a half hours. Perfect.

My husband took all three of my children out for a little while tonight so I could have some "quiet study time."  It was wonderfully thoughtful and I appreciated it immensely.  I accomplished exactly what  I needed to in the 2 and a half hours that they've been gone.

Exactly  2 hours and thirty minutes ago, that they all climbed in the mommy van and drove away leaving the most wonderful hush throughout my house.

Perfect.

It took me 2 hours and thirty minutes to read my assigned chapters, write out my postings and take a quiz.

Perfect.

Exactly 2 hours and thirty two minutes later, my husband called me from the grocery store.

"What do you need from the grocery store that's quick?" (kids talking loudly in the background)
"Um, hamburgers, rolls, bread, decaf coffee...jelly...cereal..."
 "I said quick..." (kids laughing loudly in the background)
"Um...what's not quick about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? "
"No!  I meant, quick tell me what you need tonight because I've reached my limit!!!" (kids now even louder)
"Oh! Just jelly, bread and decaf is fine...I'll do the shopping later in the week."
"Fine."
Click.

Yep, that's it folks!  It took my husband exactly 2 hours and 32 minutes to "reach his limit."

Perfect.

I know what you're thinking...why is that Perfect??

I'll gladly tell you why...

I am with my kids non stop every day of the week (minus school hours-which aren't long enough ;0), by the way) and I reach my limit once every few days.  Maybe longer if it's a good week.

That, my friends is total validation, is it not?  I'm not a horrible person for losing it every so often when I've not only reached my limit but went beyond it because I didn't get to drive my kids back home to their dad.  Validation, indeed!

See? Perfect.

Feeling pretty good about myself right about now, how about you?

Motherhood, the other kind of juggling...

So, as I sat here crocheting a hat for another baby, my baby (ok, he's two but as he is my last--FOR SURE--he is still my baby) brought me two baseballs and asked me to juggle.

"Mommy doesn't know how to juggle, honey," I replied
"Pleeeeeez, mommy...juggle da balls....pleeeze!"
"I'm sorry, buddy....I really don't know how to juggle, would YOU like to give it a try instead?" I asked trying desperately to buy some more time to finish my hat.

*sigh*

When I sat down to write this blog my next line wasn't supposed to be *sigh*, it was supposed to be, "The truth is, I DO know how to juggle, just not the way he wanted me to."

The more I thought about it though, the more I had doubts and went with the former instead of the latter.

Why is that?  Why do we doubt ourselves as mothers?  I mean, really.  The TRUTH really is that  I know how to juggle (minus the three physical objects that most people associate with juggling).

The three "balls" I currently juggle are:  I keep my kids alive and (mostly) well. I am starting a business and working hard at it everyday. I am into my second course this semester and currently maintaining a 4.0 ( just this semester, though--I really have a 3.35 overall--damn that 1.9 GPA I earned my first year at BCC, it still haunts my cumulative-oy!).

See? I'm keeping three things up in the air at all times.  One of these days I'll be so good at it that I can add a few more "balls" to my routine, you know like-taking better care of myself, staying in better contact with friends (which is closely related to the previous one) and maybe, just maybe keeping a clean house.

I'm not holding my breath for that last one (and thankfully neither is my husband).   ;0)

So there it is...I'm a juggler, which is fitting in this circus of a life that is mine.  :0)   Now, the question becomes, how do I make my version of juggling as entertaining to a two year old as a keeping three baseballs in the air?